I changed my mologue last minute for one I thought it would be more exciting.
This is how Ray feels before she will go to see her mom and tell her what she has to.
I have decided to make a extreme change in my life.
My mom is in the hospital unconscious, this really breaks my heart. But I also think that this is the perfect time to let her know what is about to happen with my body.
I have always felt as I really was a boy, never liked to do the girlie things and as far as I remember I always liked girls. Once, when I was a child and tried to tell my mom about the way I felt, she rejected me so I decided from then on not to share my feelings with her.
Im in my thirties now, all I want from her is to still love me no matter what. I cant change who I am, all Im asking is for her to accept me and not to cut me off like she has done before. Im not asking for her blessing because I know that will be too much to ask. I love my mother very much, I need to share this with her. If I could only find the way to make her love me even if Im a boy!...
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
HOW TO SEW-ON-A-BUTTON in 2 minutes with BAD disturbance
I know sewing on a button is not a difficult thing to do but I picked this task because this always happens to me last minute when im rushing and about to go out.
so I thought myself, if I can really accomplish to sew on a button in two minutes even with some kind of disturbance like I usually have.. Ill master it!...
I practiced once before class and I barely made it in two minutes because i take too much time threading the needle.
So I was there in class trying to do every single step to finish with my task in two minutes, but one of my classmates "Ameer" happened to be right next to me "asking me out" and murmuring things in my ear that were getting in my way.. I know he was only doing it because his job was to interrupt me from what i was trying to do. But this was really annoying!!
Yeah, Louis was right when he said I did not believe he was really asking me out.. why did I not say anything?, I guess because i got myself hooked flirting with him.. why not? flirting is fun, plus I think that way was easier for me to stay focused instead of confronting him..
we had some good natural responses moments, like when he said he was taking me out for good food and then asked me if i liked food, i kind of pictured a bunch of good dishes in front of me so I said "yeah, I love food" haha, couldn't help that.. the rest of the time I was rejecting him just to avoid him, giving him excuses why we shouldn't go out... even though I did not believe he was being true..
I think the whole purpose of this exercise was to see how different we act and react when we are "really" doing something and others take part of it. We cannot plan or fake how we are going to react to things when we are unaware, because we are trying focus in something that is really happening at the same time.
so I thought myself, if I can really accomplish to sew on a button in two minutes even with some kind of disturbance like I usually have.. Ill master it!...
I practiced once before class and I barely made it in two minutes because i take too much time threading the needle.
So I was there in class trying to do every single step to finish with my task in two minutes, but one of my classmates "Ameer" happened to be right next to me "asking me out" and murmuring things in my ear that were getting in my way.. I know he was only doing it because his job was to interrupt me from what i was trying to do. But this was really annoying!!
Yeah, Louis was right when he said I did not believe he was really asking me out.. why did I not say anything?, I guess because i got myself hooked flirting with him.. why not? flirting is fun, plus I think that way was easier for me to stay focused instead of confronting him..
we had some good natural responses moments, like when he said he was taking me out for good food and then asked me if i liked food, i kind of pictured a bunch of good dishes in front of me so I said "yeah, I love food" haha, couldn't help that.. the rest of the time I was rejecting him just to avoid him, giving him excuses why we shouldn't go out... even though I did not believe he was being true..
I think the whole purpose of this exercise was to see how different we act and react when we are "really" doing something and others take part of it. We cannot plan or fake how we are going to react to things when we are unaware, because we are trying focus in something that is really happening at the same time.
the bear exercise
this one was too funny..
so the game starts with a person who plays "the bear" and has to touch or make whatever noise to disturb the rest of us that are dead people, if you laugh you become a bear as well...
I was dying to laugh at first, because i heard all the weirdest s**t!! i really contained myself not to laugh.
after a minute, like I heard somebody said, my soul disconnected from my body and i put it in a corner of the room
kind of what I learnt from movement class..
we were all confused about what the purpose of this game could be, i thought it was a good exercise to learn how to control ourselves, like a concentration thing.. after a while I felt that nothing could make me laugh or wake up from my trance..
Also I've noticed this exercise is also good to allow responses to happen, sometimes its good just to let yourself go and see what others could bring to you...
so the game starts with a person who plays "the bear" and has to touch or make whatever noise to disturb the rest of us that are dead people, if you laugh you become a bear as well...
I was dying to laugh at first, because i heard all the weirdest s**t!! i really contained myself not to laugh.
after a minute, like I heard somebody said, my soul disconnected from my body and i put it in a corner of the room
kind of what I learnt from movement class..
we were all confused about what the purpose of this game could be, i thought it was a good exercise to learn how to control ourselves, like a concentration thing.. after a while I felt that nothing could make me laugh or wake up from my trance..
Also I've noticed this exercise is also good to allow responses to happen, sometimes its good just to let yourself go and see what others could bring to you...
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