acting-singing

I always thought acting was the easiest thing in the world because it seems so fun and natural for most actors.. The truth is, not really, not everybody buys what a bad actor has to play. I have learnt a lot in every rehearsal from the musical I'm in.
I also has realized that musicals are not too corny and boring, they are a lot of fun and have a meaning behind it. It is still a problem for me to make others understand me, I do not know if i'm not clear enough because I speak to fast (in every language I speak) or because my accent is still so thick they have trouble getting me. I have tried to corrected myself and slow it down when I talk so is less frustrating for others to get me. I think is working.
I'm glad I took movement last semester, because that definitely has taught me some good ways to perform for this. I can go from floating to molding very easily.
I try to take the inner me out so I become the character played under my point of view. Even if I know nothing about being a goddess and how to act like one become i have no super powers, I think of how i would do as if I was one. What would I eat, how would I talk, what would I dream of. I answered myself these questions and I came up with me, the goddess who loves nature, very strong and secure who wishes everybody can get what they deserve, because that is fair. I'd be a fair goddess.
Questions like these made me see more qualities of the character.
Every day I learn more, I hope it only gets better!

choosing the right monologue

After reading a bunch of monologues I found online and in books
I finally picked one.
It had to be one where the person is active and is happening in the present time. Most of them were talking about past events and bored me.
I know that this assigment involves more that just reciting lines in front of my whole class. I have to be confident about it and somehow take control.

I am trying to create a new character out of it. I don't feel like copying anybody. I know it'll be hard because almost everything has been done!.. I'll try to add some originality to it.. i don't know where to start.
I want it to be my own style, my own point of view and voice.. what motivates my character??
I am discovering it myself still.... Analizing her a litte bit, I have found her
comical, somehow hysterical
I'll talk more about her as soon as I really get to know her well...

Monologues

alright so I love acting but I hate how i perform
i am so plain!
I even bore myself, i know I am not supposed to be funny all the time or Im not here to entertain people
it goes beyond it, its about telling a story, drawing it.
I play every character the same and they cannot be all the same, hell no!
I dont know if it is because Im letting all my emotional bad side coming out,
I am going through some kind of crisis inside, personal stuff. ugh!
I just wish I could find the way for this not to affect me, but I guess I am failing at it.
I had to change monologues 3 times already, because I didnt even believe myself what I was saying, so frustrating.
Im reading the book we are supposed to read for class, and im trying to learn some from there..